With Arms Wide Open - 1

“12th of Red, Life in Asturia is slowly climbing its way back up to a shadow of what it once was. It’s a strange fact of life, that nothing is ever the same once someone realises something significant about it. For example if a beetle were to walk across the window ledge right now, I’d probably gasp and hit it with this diary. However if I stopped to realise that beetle would not do me any harm and is probably trying to get away, I’d hesitate and let it pass, gritting my teeth for the few seconds till it disappeared. This is the way of things; my realisation would save the beetle’s life. I feel as though I perhaps have undergone this change of realisation, although I’m not sure how welcome it has been.” Milerna Aston Fassa lingered longer than was needed upon the full stop. She looked up from the neatly gilded notebook of fine pink paper. The soft hazy warm light of the afternoon sun tumbled lazily in through the window, Palas sat as it always had, in the heart of Asturia, white and lively against the equally dazzling sparkle of the water in the bay. The fishing boats were being unloaded joyfully from a good night’s fishing and the docks were bustling. The round merry faces of the rugged and bristly fishermen glowed as their wives and children helped the effort to unload the boats. What a sight to behold. Like a beautiful flower, white and peaceful surrounded by an ocean of greens and blues. Beautiful, simply beautiful. Milerna dropped her head slightly and noticed her pen had left a large smudge on her full stop. It had been occurring more often these days as she wrote in her journal. Her mind would stray this way and that, never attaching itself to one thought for more than a fleeting moment. Perhaps it was better not to linger on some of the less pleasant details of her “realisation” upon life.

“…Since the great war with Zaibach and consequently our father’s death, it has pained me a great deal to harbour the misery of our nation myself. “She scored out the last part and rewrote “…harbour the misery of our nation with only my sister for assistance. Though Eries does what she can, and has only the country’s best interests at heart, I feel an emptiness I had never known before. Perhaps my ghastly realisation was that the bells that seemed to chime for me would not do so again without my request. What I mean to say is, that everything which before I had taken for granted, I must now take control over. In short the life of royalty before my involvement with Van of Fanelia and my friend from the Mystic moon, Hitomi, had been one of comfort and indulgence (My naive relationship with Allen Shazar being the main focus of this.) I now find myself burdened beyond my capabilities and saddled with Dryden Fassa as a husband, and everyday my own misery sinks to depths below my own concern…” Milerna wiped her eye, silencing a small build up of water that threatened to spill as a tear. “…I however will continue to bring my country as much wealth, prosperity and comfort as my post will allow. For the moment I shall have to accept the changes the war has brought to my life and sympathise with those whom I spent the unruly period in the company of. They have no doubt been changed and altered (perhaps beyond recognition) by the effects of such a tempestuous and disturbing experience. I hope that some good will come of this ordeal, but I can’t help thinking, that although Asturia has been physically restored to it’s former splendour, the life and vigour it once possessed has disappeared with those who lost their lives protecting it.”

Milerna dropped her pen rather unceremoniously and sighed. She had thought that writing her thoughts down would make some sense of them and to her chagrin it had. Unfortunately it had helped her slip into a dark mood of depression. Did Van Fanel feel this same heaviness? After all he was in the same situation as she was. He had recently been crowned the King of his country, which unfortunately had not been fairing as well as Asturia, lost his soul mate to another plane of existence and had the weight of the war pulling at him. One difference was, he had Meryl. Although she would never fill to hole Hitomi had left, Van still had someone who understood and loved him, there to pull him back to the surface when depression threatened to drown him. Milerna had only her sister for this comfort. She couldn’t even enjoy the company of the young knight who had captured her heart and had given her it back. Since the revelation that Celena had been Dilandau Albatou all along, Allen had had his hands full re-educating her and trying to introduce her back into the society of court life. That was the excuse anyway. Eries had warned her to stay away from the knight as much as was politely possible. What sort of impression would that have upon the elderly members of council? The painfully handsome, illegitimate sire to the heir of Freid, and Asturia’s young, attractive and estranged ruler spending personal time together? It would be a scandal. Whether or not its purpose was innocent, it would still be viewed in the same light. It was hopeless. She was so desperately lonely for company of any sort and she missed her friend from the Mystic Moon awfully.

There was small knock on the door of Milerna’s privy-chamber. Milerna waved a hand in accordance as she knew that whoever had knocked was peeking to see her response. Eries’ calm voice floated through the air towards her.

“Milerna dear, King Fanel has travelled from Fanelia to request an audience with you.” As though the Gods had offered a small ray of sunlight into her otherwise dark world, Milerna found herself praising the day she had first heard the name Van Slanzer de Fanel. Running past her sister she hurried down the stairs hitching her skirt to her dainty slender legs. He would be waiting in the large ballroom; it was where they usually entertained guests of his stature. Never in all her life had she been so eager to see someone to whom she had such an insignificant relationship with. As she turned a corridor, Milerna slowed her pace and dropped the hem of her skirts. This was customary for her. On this floor of the palace you could meet almost anyone from anywhere and it was not to be seen of a Princess (or Queen) to be doing something as unseemly as running or panting. Also on this floor, if one turned around certain corridors or hung in certain doorways, one could pick up gossip from the unsuspecting maids and servants chatting as they mopped the floor or cleaned the windows. Milerna learned almost everything she knew about the current state of Palas this way. Eries and the councillors would only tell her so much. (Just enough for her to understand the situation, and be willing to sign official documents and the sort.) Hearing about the comings and goings of everyday life also provided her with a strange sense of satisfaction. So turning down a long drawn out route, Milerna hoped to catch word of what the maids would be no doubt saying about the young, and handsome King of Fanelia. Stopping at a window seat Milerna sat down silently and listened to maids in an adjacent conference room dusting some musty old drapes.

“Oh yes, he certainly is! I mean apart from looking rather wild, he’s definitely one of the most handsome royalties I know of!” One servant with a high whispery voice commented.
“I don’t know, I like that feral look, and it suits him. He can hardly help it; I mean think about it, being raised by all those beast men! Although I do hear they make great lovers!” The second laughed cheerily
The first one “shh-ed” her “ …yes…it’s a pity I mean if Princess Milerna hadn’t been betrothed to Lord Dryden, She and King Fanel would have made an excellent couple, too bad her father was so short-sighted, God rest his soul”
Milerna had heard enough. Appearing at the doorway like a woman possessed, she flung open the double doors and scowled down at the two women. “Weren’t you supposed to be working?” The women looked as though they might fall over and faint right there, but they held still and nodded vigorously, scrambling their feet and muttering apologies.

Milerna resumed her mission and scurried off down the corridor towards the ballroom. She supposed that she must have been deserving of their gossip, after all her eavesdropping. Anyway soon she’d feel better after meeting with Van, and she mustn’t keep him waiting. As the large doors were creaked open for her by two guards, Milerna entered the room with the demureness of a swan, the way she’d always been taught, her eyes drawn to the floor in submission. Looking up she found the young monarch staring at her uncomfortably. He was, indeed, handsome, as the women had commented. His hair, which was roughly the same length, had taken on a thicker more unruly appearance. His once clear and juvenile face now had angular shape, and graced many signs of hardship, older than it really should have been. His maroon eyes still held an amazing strong and willing fire in them; much to her comfort, he was still Van. Though she must admit, the Fanelian formal suit of armour, gave him a very tubular form. It was pleasing to see that five years down the line, he’d grown into the role very nicely. During her observations, he’d crossed the room and was now kneeling at her feet holding her hand, ironically delicately, in his own heavily gloved one. Planting the barest of kisses upon her ivory skin, he stood again and politely led her towards two lavish chairs positioned beside a large picture window.

“We are most fortunate to have your company with us Lord Van” Milerna said her voice like warm honey dripping in the heat. Van took his seat opposite, pushing his cloak out of the way as he did so.
“I am very gracious to accept your welcome and yet I’m sorry to have bothered you...” Van trailed off as the large doors closed, shutting the world out from them. As soon as the heavy wood boomed shut, Van sighed. They could relax.
Milerna took one of his gloved hands in hers, and leant forward. “Van it’s good to see you, I’ve heard about Fanelia’s troubles…no offence, but it shows,” She said sadly.
Van smiled wearily at her “I wish the reports weren’t true, but yes, it’s been a struggle to get things back to the way they were before. Fanelia has never really been truly “healthy” since my father died. And this recent flop in the harvest has ruined any chances of getting us back on our feet this year. We barely have enough to feed ourselves.” Van’s eyes now evidently had acquired a few unwelcome dark circles, Milerna noticed as he stared down at his hands. The young Queen poured some Earl Grey into a small china teacup, which had been left on a silver tray on the windowsill. She handed the delicate cup to Van who thanked her but looked troubled as he fretted over how to politely drink out of the fragile little piece of ceramic. She guessed he was used to large manly tankers and she risked a giggle. Van looked up tiredly at her. Her face straightened.

“Van I’m sorry…you must be so lonely, without Hitomi, I know I am. Have you ever thought of marrying?” She asked sympathetically as he sipped and rubbed his lips together savouring the flavour. He placed the cup down on the delicate saucer and rested it on his lap.
“No…sure I’ve been lonely and I’ve had a great deal of pressure from my councillors to wed. They’ve paraded all sorts in front of me. I suspect that if you weren’t already married, you and I would have been already hitched” He chuckled then sobered as he looked at the swirling, peaty brown of the tea. “But Hitomi and I see each other from time” he added, tenderly reaching his fingertips subconsciously to his chest where the pendant hung several layers below.
“Oh Van, you’re lucky; no matter how lonely you get, you always have her somewhere out there. I have…” She trailed of dryly, aware of Van’s eyes on her. “…I have Mr arrogance himself, Dryden Fassa”

The young Fanelian King smiled kindly “The only advice I can give you is…follow your heart…whatever you know inside is right, is what you should do. I don’t mean you should do what you want, but what you know is the best thing and what is good and right. You can’t fail that way”
Milerna smiled at the knowledgeable youth sitting before her. “So you’re going to wait until Hitomi’s ready to come back?”
Van nodded a liveliness returning to his mischievous features. “Or until I’m summoned there, either way I know we’ll be together again” Van drew out a long sigh “Which is why I’ve come to see you, I don’t want to ask this of you, but my hands are tied.”
Mrs Fassa straightened in her chair “Ask away Van, I’ll do what I can to help you” The young man rose and began to pace slowly around the room, awkwardness evident in his steps.
“If I am summoned at any time, I want to be sure that Fanelia is back on its feet before I go. However to be prepared we’ll need more time. I’m politically embarrassed to ask this of you Princess, I mean your majesty, but would it be possible for Fanelia to have an extension on the loans we received from you last year? Or at least longer to pay up, it’s been a hard year for everyone, so I’ll understand if you have to refuse.” Van resigned himself to staring out of the window gravely, ashamed at what his father’s Kingdom had become at the hands of his two children.
Milerna joined his side and rubbed his arm reassuringly. “You forget Van, I’ve seen the horrors of war, though obviously not the type which have aged you so. I understand what it was like trying to rebuild what took our fathers so long to establish. How much do you need?”
Van smiled, relieved by her understanding. “We only need a fifth of what we borrowed last year. I hope we can pay half of the total amount next year through our corn and flax harvest. If not it can be paid through tax on our exports.”
Milerna returned his smile. “We’ll send you back with it in the morning. In the mean time, make yourself at home here in Palas” Van graced her with a smile and embraced her in a friendly hug
“Thank you Milerna”
“Hey, what are friends for?” She smiled returning his gesture.